Mediation is a process in which both parties meet, ordinarily at the mediator’s office, and a mediator goes back and forth between the parties in an attempt to resolve any disputed issues involved in the divorce. The process may or may not involve attorneys. You may be in the same room with your spouse, or you may be kept in separate rooms. Ordinarily you will be in a separate room from your spouse with your attorney. Although mediation is required in all divorce cases involving child custody, it can also be a voluntary process. In all cases where mediation is used, the parties retain all decision-making authority. The mediator is not a judge, and he or she cannot and will not make a decision for you; they are simply a neutral party trying to facilitate settlement between you and your spouse. It is a very useful tool to help your divorce conclude in a timely, agreeable manner.

Mediation is ordinarily not involved in uncontested or no-fault divorce cases, because the parties have agreed, or intend to agree, on all issues of division of marital property and debt, child custody, and alimony. Under certain circumstances, mediation may be utilized before divorce or child custody papers are filed with the court to attempt to make a potentially contested divorce uncontested.

If your divorce is contested, you will almost certainly be required to attend mediation prior to a final hearing or trial of your case. In that case, your attorney will help you to prepare for mediation and should either attend with you or be available by phone in case you have any questions during the mediation.

If You Have Questions Please Feel Free To Contact Our Office.
Ryan K McFarland • attorneymcfarland@gmail.com •1 (931) 919-4376

There are a number of reasons your ex might want to keep your last name, most of which are actually rational. It might be difficult to see it after a contentious divorce, but the reason most ex-wives keep their ex-husband’s last name isn’t to try to aggravate him.

THE KIDS –Perhaps the most common reason an ex might avoid changing back to her maiden name after divorce is simply to keep her name consistent with the children. It’s reasonable for your ex to want to have the same last name as her kids as you probably feel the same way. Would you agree to let her change her name so long as she can change your kids’ last name? If you’re unwilling to have a different last name than the children then it’s unreasonable to expect your ex to be fine with only changing hers.

HER CAREER –Another reason many women consider when they’re thinking about keeping their married name after divorce is their career. It’s not fair to expect your ex, who might have spent years building her reputation and professional contacts under her married name, to all of a sudden switch her last name. You might be getting a divorce, but your wife has probably spent years building her personal brand around that name. As the number of women in the workplace rises, this will likely become an increasingly common reason for women to keep their ex-husband’s last name.

MARRIAGE LENGTH –The length of the marriage could also affect a woman’s thought process when she’s considering reasons to change her name after divorce. It’s possible she’ll have held that name longer than their maiden name. It makes sense she might feel more comfortable with her married name than the one she hasn’t officially held for who knows how many years. She’s lived the better part of her life under your last name and more than likely identifies more strongly with it.

So, can you make your ex-wife change her name back after divorce? No, not really.

Since there is no real legal action you can take to force your ex to change her name, you’re left with minimal options. You may just have to accept her decision to keep it, even if it drives you crazy.

NEGOTIATE –Your best bet might be to negotiate for her to include changing back to her maiden name in the divorce decree. If it’s very important issue for you, you might be able to give some leeway in an area she feels passionately about. In a contentious divorce, this might not be possible.

CUT A DEAL –Many women are hyphenating their last name after divorce. Your last name will still be part of her name, but there’s really nothing you can do about it. It’s really not worth harboring bitter feelings over.

MOVE ON –If all else fails, you’re just going to have to figure out how to move on with your life. This is admittedly difficult to do if you are fundamentally opposed to your ex keeping your last name, but there just isn’t much you can do. Are you really going to harbor resentment the rest of your life, or are you going to work to find a way to let go? With everything else you’ve gone through in your divorce, this really isn’t something you should get too hung up on.


If You Have Questions Please Feel Free To Contact Our Office.
Ryan K McFarland • attorneymcfarland@gmail.com •1 (931) 919-4376

Negotiating travel expenses (costs of transporting the children for visitation) seems to be one of those items parents wait until the last minute to think about. But it can be very important and can be a large percentage ofyour monthly child support obligation.The court has wide discretion in this issue and it is usually in your best interest if you can come to an independent agreement with your ex.

Judges will consider which parent moved and why. The parent who moved may be asked to pay more of the visitation transportation costs than the other parent. Then judges consider cost. Is the high cost of travel for visitation going to prevent the traveling parent from seeing the child as often? If so, thenwhat again was the reason for the move? Finally, most judges want to know the relativeabilityof the parties to pay.After having all of the facts, judges will usually rule in a way that makes practical sense because the Guidelines provide little limitation on judicial discretion.


Tennessee Child Support Guidelines state, “If parenting time-related travel expenses are substantial due to the distance between the parents, the tribunal may order the allocation of such costs by deviation from the presumptive child support obligation, taking into consideration the circumstances of the respective parents as well as which parent moved and the reason that the move was made.”

These provisions merely require the judge to “consider” whether a reduction in child support should occur as a result of visitation transportation costs. There is no mandatory reduction in child support for travel related to visitation. There is also no formula to tell a judge how to calculate an adjustment to a parent’s child support obligation from among choices of methodology, such as allocating costs between the parents or cost-offset ratio against a strict computation of the child support obligation.

Because the travel expenses reduction is fraught with judicial discretion, the long-distance parent should be ready to argue for a specific, quantified reduction in child support, and to demonstrate the reduction relative to the actual costs of engaging in long-distance visitation. The relocating parent might also want to demonstrate a solid history of taking part in all local visitation opportunities to help bolster the claim that visitation, even if expensive, will regularly continue into the future.

If You Have Questions Please Feel Free To Contact Our Office.
Ryan K McFarland • attorneymcfarland@gmail.com •1 (931) 919-4376

Tennessee courts have consistently held that parents have a fundamental right to practice their religion, and an important interest in their child’s religious upbringing. Out of respect for these interests, courts strive to maintain strict neutrality in cases involving religious disputes between divorced parents.

However, the welfare and best interest of the child are always the court’s paramount concerns, and a court may interfere when there is aclear and affirmativeshowing that one parent’s religious beliefs and practices threaten the health and well-being of the child.

In Ashland City, Mother and Father are the divorced parents of Child. In theirdivorce, they received equal parenting time with joint decision-making authority. Mother was designated the primary residential parent.

Mother is a Christian. After the parties’ separation, Father converted to Messianic Judaism, a religion that blends elements of Christianity with elements of Judaism.

Mother petitioned tomodify the parenting plan to give her sole decision-making authority and additional parenting time on holidays. She alleged that Father was alienating her from Child by making disparaging remarks about her and her religion.

The proof showed their religious disputes were hindering the decision-making process. For example, they have opposing views regarding Child’s healthcare. Mother is a registered nurse. Father does not believe in man-made pharmaceuticals and testified that he is against vaccinating Child. Mother, however, vaccinated Child because she believes vaccinations are important to Child’s overall health, and Child’s school requires that Child receive vaccinations. Father testified that he has told Child that vaccinations are “not good” for her and that they “make her stupid.” Child’s medical records indicate that “patient states in her own words that dad tells her vaccines make [her] sick and make me not smart.” Mother testified she does not want Child to fear medical treatment.

For one more example, Father believes Christian and secular holidays are sinful “stumbling blocks,” while Mother celebrates both. Specifically, Father testified that he believes participating in Halloween, Christmas, Easter, birthdays, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, and Thanksgiving is sinful. He testified that he prays over Child when she returns from participating in activities he views as stumbling blocks. Mother expressed concern that Father’s behavior is leading Child to believe that participating in Mother’s religious and secular holidays is sinful.

Mother claimed this causes Child to experience distress, confusion, and anxiety.

The trial court found there was a material change based on the increased conflict between the parties since their divorce. Mother was awarded sole decision-making authority over educational and non-emergency healthcare decisions and additional parenting time on holidays.

Father Appealed But the Court of Appeals Agreed with the Decision of the Trial Court.

If You Have Questions Please Feel Free To Contact Our Office.
Ryan K McFarland • attorneymcfarland@gmail.com •1 (931) 919-4376

Division of a 401K plan and many pension plans require a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO).

If your divorce settlement agreement states that you will divide a pension and/or 401K plan, a court must order a Qualified Domestic Relations Order, commonly abbreviated as QDRO. (Note: A QDRO is not necessary to divide an IRA or a SEP. Also, military pensions, federal, state, county and city retirement plans have their own rules regarding division during divorce.) A QDRO will instruct the plan administrator on how to pay the non-employee spouse’s share of the plan benefits. A QDRO allows the funds in a retirement account to be separated and withdrawn without penalty and deposited into the non-employee spouse’s retirement account (typically an IRA).

Many people often make the mistake of assuming that their divorce settlement agreement will fully protect their rights to their portion of a spouse’s retirement account. This is usually not the case, and that’s why it’s critically important to use a properly prepared QDRO.

The QDRO should be completed and presented to the pension plan well before your divorce is finalized. Waiting to complete the QDRO until after the divorce is finalized is recipe for disaster. Consider this common example:

Let’s imagine a scenario in which the divorce has been finalized, and the QDRO requires the pension plan to pay an immediate lump sum amount to the non-employee spouse. And let’s further imagine that the non-employee spouse was relying on that lump sum payment to pay legal fees and other immediate expenses.

The reality is that many pension plans will not pay a lump sum amount and will only pay the non-employee spouse on a monthly basis for life starting at around retirement age, which could be many years in the future. Under these circumstances, the QDRO requesting the immediate lump sum payment would be rejected by the pension plan. If that’s the case, the spouse who was counting on receiving immediate cash to pay their legal fees and other bills is in for a major disappointment. Since the divorce has already been finalized, the non-employee spouse cannot go back to the court and request some other property (cash, stocks, etc.) that would have an equivalent value to that anticipated lump sum payment. The non-employee spouse is now out of luck and may have to wait decades to start collecting their share of the monthly pension payments.

On the other hand, if the QDRO was completed and presented to the pension plan well before the divorce was finalized, the non-employee spouse could have negotiated a different settlement with more cash, for example, once they found out that an immediate lump sum payment from the pension would not be possible.

If You Have Questions Please Feel Free To Contact Our Office.
Ryan K McFarland • attorneymcfarland@gmail.com •1 (931) 919-4376

There's a mistaken belief among a lot of newly divorced parents that child support is only supposed to cover the basics that a child needs -- which means those parents could be in for a seriously unpleasant surprise when their ex-spouse asks the court to order a temporary increase in support to pay for summer camp (or something similar) this year.

They may be even more unpleasantly surprised when the judge grants the order.

However, if the court determines that you can afford the increase, and the extracurricular activity that your ex-spouse wants your child to have is something that the court thinks is justified, that's exactly what's likely to happen. For example, if your child travels playing a competitive sport like baseball, softball, or soccer, there is a chance to include the costs, fees, uniforms, gear, gas, and seemingly endless hotel rooms as special expenses.

UnderTennessee’s child support guidelines, the court may order a deviation from the standard support order so that the child can receive certain extraordinary or special expenses:

• Special Education, Including Room and Board, Tuition and Other Fees
• Summer Camp
• Music or Art Lessons
• Band Camp
• Athletic Camps

In determining whether or not the deviation from the normal child support payment is warranted, the expense has to exceed 7% of the basic child support order. The court also looks to see if the activity or educational opportunity would have been appropriate to the child's lifestyle if the parents were still together.

If you truly can't afford the expense, the court won't deprive you of the money you need to cover your rent, utilities and other living costs -- but it may not leave you with much left over. For that reason alone, it might be worthwhile trying to work with your ex-spouse on an amount you can contribute more easily, without getting the court involved.

If You Have Questions Please Feel Free To Contact Our Office.
Ryan K McFarland • attorneymcfarland@gmail.com •1 (931) 919-4376

The obligation to pay child support continues until a child reaches age 18 or the class of which the child is a member when the child attains eighteen (18) years of age graduates, whichever occurs second. The only exceptions are:

1. Emancipation by a court order.

2. If parental rights are terminated by an action of the State of Tennessee.

3. There is an adoption, usually by a step-parent.

Emancipation is the relinquishment of parental authority over the childand the termination of the parent’s legal duty to support the child. Essentially, an emancipation means that a minor is given the rights of an 18-year-old adult by a Tennessee Chancery Court and will be recognized as an adult for all legal purposes. These rights include entering into contractual agreements, seeking employment, and filing civil suits against others.

Emancipation can be sought by the parents, a legal guardian, or the minor himself or herself. Emancipation is granted by the chancery court, which has the power to remove the disabilities of minority. A Tennessee Chancellor has discretion to grant the minor seeking emancipation full rights of majority or limited rights for a narrow, specified purpose.

There is no set age limit for emancipation. The question of whether a minor is mature enough to be emancipated from parental control is a question left up to the courts. Emancipation is fact-dependent. However, emancipation may be inferred from the fact that the child is earning his own way and spending his own money as he pleases. Whether a minor has been emancipated is usually a question that depends upon each unique situation.

Child support is not owed to an emancipated child because emancipation relinquishes the parent’s legal duty to support the child. A parent may have a duty to continue paying child support if the child has turned 18, but is still finishing high school. In such a case, the parent’s support obligation continues until the 18-year-old child either graduates high school or the class of which the child is a member graduates, whichever occurs first.

If You Have Questions Please Feel Free To Contact Our Office.
Ryan K McFarland • attorneymcfarland@gmail.com •1 (931) 919-4376